I know there are nights that you cry yourself to sleep. Thinking about a lot of things and ends up not knowing what to do anymore.
People around you would always tell you how beautiful you are every time you flash that smile. Those smiles are true, I know. But they merely see that frown and tears.
You’ve been experiencing this roller coaster kind of emotions these past few days. Why?
Maybe it’s the change occurring. Yes, the change that you’re not yet ready to begin with.
So I guess it’s the process on dealing with it. That change is inevitable. That just like seasons.. people, as well as feelings, and how to express their feelings, change.
From the most little and simplest thing, you remember how it all used to be. On how someone cared enough for you. On how someone wouldn’t let you sleep with hard feelings. On how someone will tell the people around that you matter to him. On how someone used to look at you.
Now you don’t want to believe what other people says, that in general, people are just great from beginning and later on, the consistency will soon fade.
I know you, from the very start. That you don’t really care about the things that he will give to you.. Not expecting he will give you gifts, but rather the one you really wanted from him. Consistency.
Before it all happened, you wanted someone that will always be there for you. Specially someone that will try to hold you when you are falling at midnight. Someone that will prove to you that you shouldn’t be afraid, that you are the most beautiful. Someone that will take you to the places you never knew, that he knows how much you like the city view. On how you love to watch the clouds in the morning and stars in the evening. Someone that will give you the tightest hug and the most lovable kiss. Someone that will treat you like a flower, that he will never pick you up and let you die. He will water you with endless love, and will make your heart grow bigger.
I understand that you are staying because that is what your heart and mind said. You still feel fortunate of loving someone that at least loved you back. Of all the things your hands have held, the best so far is him. That’s why you keep going, you gotta keep going. I know you love him so much, I know you still do.
Sharing this Jhene Aiko song (Eternal Sunshine), for your inspiration. Please, smile. 🙂