“The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.”
Before she went to her favorite place, she made a cup of coffee from the kitchen. Coffee, sugar and creamer.. She mixed them all with a hot water. She sits at her favorite spot in their house. A wooden chair with a little table beside it. She placed the cup of coffee on the table. She looked at the window, she could only see the newly built house across their street. No people outside. No children running and playing. No bikers and joggers.
The afternoon is silent and somehow cold. She’s alone, but she isn’t lonely. She find herself a little bit bored but thankfully there’s a book to accompany her. No phone, no laptop, or any other gadget. She doesn’t want to know what is happening right now to other people, especially to the guy who broke her heart.
“I would like to be alone for a while.”
“How would you do it?” Her friend asked her some days ago.
“I need some space. I need silence. I need to think about things without any other people that would affect my decision and would disturb me.”
“I’m just a text away, okay? I’m always here for you.”
“That I’m always here for you line… You’re the only person I trust when saying that.” She said.
As time goes by, her cup of coffee became empty. Empty that she wishes that her head and her heart would be also like that. But she doesn’t wish to be just like the coffee, bitter. She’s sweeter than the sugar that she put in her coffee.
She’s the sweet girl who is ready to give the world to the guy who broke her heart. She’s the sweet girl who will never get tired of showing how much she loves everyone.
“You are the sweetest girl, I’ve ever met.” She remembered him saying that.
A sudden frown from her genuine face showed up. She wants to forget him already, but she couldn’t. She never thought that this guy would be really important to her.
She was there for him. When he was so sad, she was there. She’d catch him, if he ever fall. But he did fall, he said those words. I, love, and you. But what happened? Why is she alone?
She is there, wondering. She can’t decide if she’s going to talk to him or not. Is she even ready to let him go and let herself drown in regret and sadness? She’s fragile, her strength is gone. She can’t cry, she doesn’t want to cry anymore. She thinks that crying is just a waste of time… but actually so does thinking about the guy who broke her heart.
After some time of contemplating, she made a decision.
She is girl that has a lot of dreams, and one of it is be with someone who will love her for the rest of her life. She will be with someone that will definitely accept her for who she is and will embrace how deep, psycho, and bitter-sweet she is.
She loved him with all her heart and she almost gave everything that she can give. If she’s not enough for him, then he’s not for her. She doesn’t have any regrets. She liked how they met. She will never forget how he held her hands, especially when she felt so cold. She will never regret that she spent some days and time to him. She hopes that his smile will always be there, just like how he smiles back at her when they’re walking down the streets.
She will never forget the way he hugged her and how he kissed her on the forehead. Those were the sweetest things he did to her. She’s thinking that maybe it’s time for her to disobey what he have said from the past. That she shouldn’t entertain anyone except him. She did that, for real. Because she wants no one else but him, the guy who broke her heart.
She would like to plead him to go back and stay. She would like to tell him that maybe they can give another shot and make this work. But no, he’s away now. She doesn’t know what this guy feels for her.
Maybe it’s time for her to let go of him, let go of the guy who broke her heart.