To The Guy I Almost Loved


What happened to us? I don’t know. We just decided not to bother each other. I don’t have any clue on  why did you stop talking to me.


I would like to say thank you. Thank you for being part of my life, though it’s just for a short span of time. Thank you for sharing a lot of things to me, about your friends, your family, your past, your flaws, almost everything about you.

Thank you for giving me some part of your time to see me, to talk to me. Thank you for alloting patience and understanding to what I told you, about myself, my rants, almost my everything.

I will miss you, though I think I shouldn’t miss you. I will miss the teasing, the awkward silences, the laughing, the smiling, those hugs and kisses. I will miss almost everything that we did.

Funny how I decided to write again how I feel, because I don’t know how to say these.

Sometimes, even though I don’t want to surrender, there’ll be a time where you don’t have any other option but to just give up. I think twice about everything, maybe there was a portion that it was my fault, and a portion that it was your fault. I don’t know. The only possible step to do is to stop. Actually, I don’t want to say I’m giving up.. It’s just that, I should read between the lines. I believe that what’s yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be. Maybe we tried so hard, but it didn’t really worked. Well, at least we tried, right?

I don’t have any regrets, because what we had was surreal. I liked it. I don’t want to think that what we had was just a game, though there are a lot of people that would say to me “Maybe, it’s not real at all.” “It’s not worth it.” I hope it was true, I know it’s true. Then if it’s just a game, I liked the way that we played.

I will not link this post to my twitter for some reason. Others might think this is one helluva crazy post. I just like to type what I really feel right now. Like what I’ve said earlier, words I can’t even say personally. Call me coward, but not really.

Sometimes, there’s nothing to be said. Sometimes, nothing should be said. This is how life works, and how it will always work. That it’s not going to be easy. But maybe tomorrow, day after tomorrow, next week.. somehow, it’ll get better.

I want you to go away, but I want you to stay. You make me happy, but you make me sad. I want to punch you, but I want to hug you. Part of me says I should hold on. Part of me says I should let go. Which of the two? Choose where I think we’ll both be fine. Maybe I should let go. I think there’s nothing to hold on.

I am not that sad nor that happy. I don’t know how should I feel.

Good luck to the both of us. Specially you, you’ll go places. I know you will. Have a nice life. We both deserve to be happy, and to be loved. 🙂

I forgive you,
and I’m sorry too.

I love you.


One Comment Add yours

  1. Reblogged this on micah guevarra and commented:
    Right at this moment, what I really want to say

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