It Will Be A Good Day

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I woke up very early, it’s still 7 in the morning. I have no one to talk to, because they’re still asleep. I won’t be able to text or call someone because I lost my phone weeks ago.  

What can I do if I can’t even lift myself from my bed? I want to sneak into our kitchen downstairs and have my breakfast. But there’s this gravity that wouldn’t allow me to get up.  

My tablet is just inches away from me so I took it and played some feel good music. I played Veranda from Cillie Barnes on repeat.  

If you just tell me what I gotta do
To get next to him
And away from you
If you just tell me what I gotta do
To get next to him
‘Stead of next of you
What’s a girl gonna do?  

Then after how many minutes, I realized that I have to go downstairs because I want to taste the soulful coffee. I mean soulful that I’m not drinking coffee just because I want to sip and have something to drink, but with the thought of coffee.. It’s better to accompany it with some thinking on important matters.  

It’s kind of f—ed up isn’t it? That someone so close to you would just wake up and decides not to talk to you anymore? There aren’t any valid reason why, no explanation, not even words that said “I’m not going to talk to you, this will be the last.” That person will just leave you hanging on, like you never meant sh-t to him/ her. Then what hurts the most is the way he/ she do it, made it look so easy.  

Then I thought of being an option. Well, I feel like I’m not anyone’s first choice, not even a favorite. I know there are some who will say I’m important to them, but they prefer to be with someone else, someone they choose over me.  

I don’t want to drop some name, I’m not referring to only one and not saying that I’ve been experiencing this right now. It’s just that, it’s kind of common. Not saying this for myself but to those who are experiencing this. It sucks though, I’m not really sad but I changed mood in just a snap of finger because of thoughs that went inside my head. Cray cray.  

Then I thought about what I feel I deserve, what every person in this universe deserves..   We deserve to be loved unconditionally, and not taken for granted. We deserve happiness and truth, that all liars and lies we encountered were just lessons.

We are worth all effort, because we know within ourselves that we’re not going to waste other’s effort, we appreciate everything even the smallest things. We may have bad times but it happens for us to treasure the good ones.

We should remind ourselves that we’re not going to pick the best ones. Some people are easy to care but hard to be with. Remember that we shouldn’t let the disappointments get us jaded.  

Soon, we’ll have someone that will make us see the sun where we once saw the clouds. The people that will believe in us, that’s why we’ll believe in ourselves too. The people that will love you for being you. The once in a lifetime kind of people.  

I ended up drinking my coffee with a lot, yes, a lot of realizations. 🙂

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